Hi friends! I’m so excited to share this series on positive discipline my friend Kim will be sharing on the blog! You can read the rest of her posts here. She’s a fabulous makeup artist and a preschool teacher turned parenting coach who really believes that tiny humans have voices that need to be heard. I highly recommend getting to know her if you don’t already!
I’m sure you’ve heard the buzz phrase: Positive Discipline. It seems like an oxymoron and full of fluff, and if you read my last blog post here, you already know three steps to start. But, you may still have some questions.
Is it praise?
Is it lacking structure?
Do the kids rule the roost?
Whatever questions you have, I am here to answer them for you so you can be a PD Master!
At the foundation of PD is the concept that all children are good and if you focus on positive behavior, children will choose to behave positively.
Let’s look at the opposite model, Negative Discipline (ND).
The disciplinarian’s behavior often mimics that of the child: angry, destructive, and violent which results in shame and shows the child that this type of behavior is appropriate. We know from Brene Brown that shame continues bad behavior because it, “corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.“
On the other side of the coin, PD aims to show children productive and positive ways to handle their emotions. This is also known as modeling or “do as I do”.
So often our discipline style is a reaction to how we were raised. Whether a person agrees with how they were raised, feels the opposite, or simply don’t know any other way, there’s no denying that our own backgrounds influence our parenting.
Far too often I hear, “I was spanked and I turned out ok.”
This may feel true, but I challenge those people to take a deeper look and ask themselves the following:
The negative effects of spanking is an entirely separate blog post in itself, but you get the point.
I will be very honest with you; PD takes a lot of patience in the beginning. It is not easy. Give yourself grace and know you’ll be better off in the long run and it is never too late to start. However, if you are switching from ND to PD, it will take some time for your child to trust in the change.
The ultimate goal is to support children to feel confident and happy within themselves so they can be happy productive adults!
That is where I step in.
Sometimes it takes an unbiased look at your life from an outsider to figure out the small tweaks
that can make a big impact. Not only will I help you master positive discipline, but together we will
take a look at why you’re still feeling overwhelmed and what we can do about it.
Maybe it’s mindset.
Maybe it’s a lack of organization.
Regardless, by working with me you will take ownership of your life to create the feelings you
desire and deserve!