Hi friends! I’m so excited to share this series my friend Kim will be sharing on the blog! See her first post here. She’s a fabulous makeup artist and a preschool teacher turned parenting coach who really believes that tiny humans have voices that need to be heard. I highly recommend getting to know her if you don’t already!
I get it, your job is very demanding. You put in 8+ hours of work in the office, go home, then pick up work after the kids are asleep…or so you think.
Did you answer an email while sitting in the car before turning it on? Or maybe while cooking? Did you try to respond to something super quick while yelling at your kids for yelling?
First off, you’re not alone and not a bad person for doing this. But your kids won’t understand your discipline if you’re yelling at them for yelling, and they certainly won’t respect your boundaries if you aren’t making time to fully connect with them or upholding your expectations. There are better ways to be more productive and more connected!
What are boundaries? A limit or point in which something or someone cannot pass. In this case, no phones at the dinner table is a boundary, or not working during certain hours is a boundary.
Our kids learn so much more from what we do than what we say. So, if you say no phones at the dinner table, and then you’re scrambling to answer an email while shoving food in your mouth, your kid will learn that boundaries and rules are not real and they don’t have to follow them either. If you tell your child what you will or will not do and then do the opposite, they will learn that it is ok for them to do the same.
But back to productivity.
How are you able to give 100% to everything if you are always dividing your attention between 2+ activities? Work will never be done, and your kids will never be satisfied with you. You are left feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and unsatisfied. Your behavior won’t be ideal, so neither will your kids’. By creating a schedule of focused time that you adhere to more often than not, your productivity will go up and your children will learn to respect your boundaries while also learning to establish their own!
Show your kiddos that their happiness is a priority by making yours a priority. Schedule a weekly uninterrupted bath time or daily walk around the block. The quiet time will allow your mind to rest and be fully present with the next task. It doesn’t have to be something big, even 15 minutes is something! When children learn how to assert their own boundaries, they’re learning about their own wants and needs. They are learning that they are important and worthy of respect as much as any adult. They learn that they own their body.
The cherry on top is that the time you spend with your children will now result in a deeper connection and understanding of them.
You will find more joy in your time together.
More understanding of who they are.
And more understanding of who YOU are through your interactions with them! Children truly are our most honest mirrors.
Changing up an established routine can be really difficult. Start by talking to your spouse/partner. Together, evaluate which part of your day is the most stressful, then include the kids. Speak with them honestly and find ways to support one another as a family unit. If your day starts off with a lot of yelling and running around, how can the rest of your day go well?
Have you tried waking up 10 minutes earlier to meditate and write down your gratitude? Or what about starting the day with music and a dance party? There is not one right answer, so find what works best for your family. I highly recommend looking outside the box to find joy in a routine that works well for you and your family that creates peace for all of you!